Cranneys R Us

Photos of Alex

2010-04-11T21:25:00.001-06:00

Go to...
http://cranneysrus.blogspot.com/2010/04/meet-alex.html

Changing our Blog Site (at Husband's Request)

2010-04-09T09:57:00.006-06:00

After a year of holding back his true feelings, Nate has finally come clean and confessed that he doesn't like the address of this blog site. And so, it is with great sadness that we announce that our family "business" will no longer be posted at this site. Instead, you can find out our news by going to a more legitimate site at http://cranneysrus.blogspot.com/. I hope this makes sense!

Pennsylvania For Sure

2010-03-25T11:55:00.003-06:00

Well, we heard back already from Washington and it looks like we are for sure going to Pennsylvania. So…anyone ever been to Greensburg? Nate is already making contacts and even found another Utah guy who is part of the medical school's ultimate frisbee team. Do you think they'll let wives play?

Med School!

2010-03-21T22:49:00.004-06:00

Well, it looks like we are going to medical school!!!!!! Yup, you guessed it. Nate's interview two weeks ago in Pennsylvania went better than he thought. A miracle, considering that with the time changes from Mountain to Eastern, Nate was actually interviewed at 6 a.m. (according to his body's internal clock). Ah, the stress relief at not being in limbo-land. I can't tell you how difficult it is to not know if you are going somewhere, where you are going, if you should quit your job, etc. Yes, I have been sleeping much better these last few nights.

Nate also had an invitation to interview in Washington, and since we'd already bought the plane ticket, we figured he should go ahead and interview and see if there is any competition for Pennsylvania. So he is there right now, renting yet another car (this one is a Kia). The school was kind enough to bump his interview time up so he could catch a plane back to Provo the same day. Otherwise he was going to have to stay two nights up there - which could be bad if Junior decides to come a couple of days early (which he won't, because momma said so). A mark in the school's favor. Who knows? Maybe he'll get a second acceptance...

Lucky Husband Rents Cars. Wife Becomes Jealous.

2010-03-04T08:42:00.002-07:00

Oh the unfairness of it all. I have been waiting YEARS to be able to drive a rental car. I remember the first time my family rented one of their own - we had flown into Florida to visit my grandparents and my dad walked up to that tall, poly-something maroon counter and ordered the coolest, recent model van I had ever been in. I think I was about 7 years old at the time. Naturally, as I grew older, I anticipated the moment when I could rent my own very cool, recent model vehicle. But alas, they wouldn't permit me to do so until I was 25!!!! Dumb car rental rules. I won't tell you how much older than 25 I am now, but suffice it to say I could rent a vehicle if I wanted to. Unfortunately, the opportunity has never come up.

My husband, on the other hand, bless his spoiled hide, is on his way to a medical interview in Pennsylvania today. And what does he get to do? Rent a car for two days. Oh the injustice! And not only is it unjust that he gets to rent the car today, but that he was also able to rent a car only two weeks ago when he traveled to Arizona for a previous interview. Of course, when he was in Arizona they upgraded his vehicle to a new model Jeep. Go figure. One day, it will be my turn...

To Waddle

2010-01-16T18:51:00.022-07:00

To waddle. “To walk with short steps, swaying or rocking from side to side, as a duck” (Dictionary.com, “Waddle,” viewed Jan. 16, 2010). In my current physical state, I have given a lot of thought to this very unique adjective. I imagine that for the majority of people hearing or reading the word “waddle,” a vivid image of ducks or geese is instantly brought to mind. For me, I see three white ducks with orange-yellow feet walking away from me on a grassy lawn towards a still lake surrounded by willow trees. Or perhaps oaks? I suppose the type of tree doesn’t matter. What matters is that I see the shifting of weight from one little paddler to the next as the ducks move in unison towards better turf.

Yes, I have given a lot of thought to waddling in recent days. Why do ducks waddle? I figure it is because there is no way to maintain balance when the entire body weight of the duck is above a single leg. This means that the legs must be disproportionately small in comparison to the size of the body and thus a shifting of weight must occur in order to lift and set down each leg as part of a physics round in order to keep from falling over. Things in motion tend to stay in motion, do they not? Thus duck use the motion to flow weight from one side of a tender stick-of-a-leg to the other without running their equally yellow-orange beaks into the mud. I wonder what type of energy it would take (proportionately speaking) to set that weight in motion for the duck to take the first steps?

Pregnancy. “To turn into a duck, complete with disproportionate leg size and strength compared to the weight and size of the body, elongated spreading of the feet similar to fins, and nasty emotional responses that exit the mouth area much like quacking” (Robin’s Philosophical Reference, “Pregnancy,” 2010).

When Carl Comes to Town

2009-12-30T10:58:00.004-07:00

The holiday season is filled with gumdrop buttons, coal-filled stockings, and dreams of deaf cats on the roof top. But the one thing we really look foward to is When Carl Comes to Town.

Nate's brother Carl is staying with us for the holidays. Invariably, whenever Carl comes to town, three things always occur:

1. We get new pets. The first time it was cats. The second time it was fish. This time? I suggested a gerbil, but Nate said no. We have T minues 9 days to convince him otherwise. BTW - the fish all died.
2. If Carl comes between October and January, there is always a big snow storm while he is here. It's not as if he brings it with him - he lives in Washington D.C. for crying out loud! The snow began yesterday afternoon and has continued to this very moment. I was fortunate to drive to work on the unplowed roads and learned the true meaning of the word "donut." Luckily, no one else was stupid enough to drive their car to work during the holiday break. The result? I think I am addicted. Without worrying about hitting other people, cars, or deaf cats, twirling around uncontrollably in a 15-year-old Toyota is actually quite exciting. I might have Nate take me to the stadium parking lot later so that I can experience such joy again.
3. The kitchen faucet breaks. Always. In fact, this time last year was when it occurred for the very first time. Carl was there, of course. But we did what any poor, struggling, starving working gal/college student couple does - we jimmy rigged it. Unfortunately, yesterday the Nile River decided to make a pit stop in North America and made an appearance in our kitchen. Still flowing north to south, however (I guess some things you can't change). Somehow between Carl's capacity to fit in small places, Nate's long arms, and my big belly, we put in a brand new faucet. Of course, this was after we couldn't get the valves to turn off and went crawling around the house trying to locate the main water supply, and fighting tooth and nail to remove an old faucet that appeared welded onto the sink behind a very large, very new disposal that Nate installed only too recently. Basin wrench what? Yeah right. If Nate and I are ever stricken with extreme poverty, we will take up plumbing (http://buckcranney.blogspot.com/2008/12/i-am-plumber.html).

To my brother-in-law Carl -
We love you and are so glad you can stay with us. Thank you for helping us extend our family to include more living organisms, teaching me the joys of spinning out on ice, and helping Nate and me to establish good skills as future plumbers. You will always have a soft spot in our hearts.

Detailed Description of My Immediate Family

2009-12-07T21:44:00.015-07:00

Christmas is a time of family, traditions, and good cheer. And, since not everyone knows all the members of my immediate family (we are four and a half), I am taking a few moments to share some things about them with you that you may not know.

Dante
· Closely resembles a raccoon.
· Gets fat in the winter
· Is an escape artist.
· Unfortunately, she is unable to get married and have children of her own and thus makes do with having lots of boyfriends.
· Has a social anxiety disorder. Will hide under the bed when visitors are present and will not leave until visitors have left the neighborhood entirely.
· Ultimately, is a wus.
· Fetches candy wrappers when you throw them.
· Eats paper candy wrappers for cherry flavored candies such as Starburst and Tootie Fruities we’ve watched this process occur).
Nietzsche
· Oddly resembles a squirrel.
· Is deaf and has a tendency to raise her voice obnoxiously because she is unable to gage the decimal level.
· Often gets caught on the roof and raises a ruckus until someone either a) wakes up and gets her down, or b) finally comes home from work and is able to save her.
· Is selfish with her food and often will pull the food tray away from Dante and into a corner where only she is able to eat it.
· Catches mice from beneath the vacuum cleaner with only her teeth. No, we don’t know how the mouse got there in the first place.
· Watches TV for long periods of time. Will also sit on the TV when it is running (we believe it is because of the vibrations).
· Is bi-polar. Most days she will sleep for long periods of time on the bed. When awake, she tends to act with incredible amounts of energy to the extent of actually jumping into walls.

Nathan

· Likes to sleep in, but is never able to do so.
· Loves tennis and other sports that make a racquet.
· Insists that I marry again if he should “up and die,” to which I tell him I could never find anyone to fill his shoes. (he he)
· Hates vegetables other than carrots, potatoes, and lettuce. Lettuce must be accompanied by ranch dressing.
· Had a bad experience with corn as a child. Is scarred for life.
· Loves little kids and is a sweet and wonderful husband.
· Is fulfilling his goals of becoming a physician. Unfortunately, he has never experienced a lot of physical ailments in his life, and so has been making up for it in these last few months with really odd things such as that trip to the ER last month and this little case of hives that erupted all over his body:

We figure it’s God’s way of getting him ready to deal with everyone else’s pain. :)

Immediate family member 0.5
· Still incubating.

Abortion Activists vs. Population Collapse

2009-11-24T10:01:00.005-07:00

My wonderful sister-in-law expressed her opinion on abortion activists which I completely agree with – i.e. their pursuits are dumb, immoral, and selfish. In a nutshell, here is why:

Two basic beliefs of most abortion activists:
1. They think it is a woman’s freedom to choose.
2. Because it will prevent overpopulation of the world.
But what happens when women’s lib meets world overpopulation? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8344295.stm.

And so, Nate and I have decided to help re-populate the world by having one of these (I expressed my own liberation by deciding to participate):

Just like with every poll in the history of our country, ours was wrong. We are following family tradition and are pleased to announce that it is a boy, and he appears very healthy. A little long, since the ultrasonographer keeps coming up with earlier and earlier due dates based off of his measurements. But we will keep April 1 as the official date - like there really is such a thing as an "official date" with babies. Hah! I felt the first kicks about 16 weeks along when I was at the dentist getting ready for some work on my poor canaled tooth (see previous blog entry). Three kicks directly in the appendix. At our 20 week check-up, the ultrasonographer couldn't get the kid to turn around. He was doing a face plant and no matter how much she shook him and had me move around, he wouldn't so much as move. He was sleeping so soundly that Nate was afraid he was dead. Not the case - just either really, really sleepy, or really, really stubborn. (I wonder who he takes after???)

We Will Not Starve This Winter

2009-11-06T23:53:00.005-07:00

In the early summer we thought we'd try our hand at planting a garden in the back yard. Little did we know our hopes and dreams would be squashed by nefarious weeds, suffocating vines, and worst of all - ants (they rank up there in the "severe dislike" category with dandelions). At first we had high hopes. We thought we could kill all the weeds, we thought we could deter the vines. But we never took into account the possibility of ants digging out our carrot, green pepper, and green onion seeds from the very ground we had toiled in. Once we saw what the ants had done, we gave up on keeping out the weeds and vines and went back to de-dandelioning the lawn.

However, surprise of all surprises, last week we were doing some typical fall yard work (you know the type - raking leaves, cleaning flower beds, etc.), when I looked over into our disastrous used-to-be garden and saw, gasp, carrot tops! Just a few, mind you, but carrot tops nonetheless. Nate and I yanked them from the hard, neglected ground, and to our astonishment found real food. Granted, they are the size of my thumbs. But it reawakened our hopes for trying the age old act of farming. Ladies and gentlemen, we will have food for the winter!

P.S. we tried the carrots and they even tasted good!

Vote for Baby

2009-10-24T20:02:00.005-06:00

Hi folks, the tentative date is...April Fool's Day. Looks like the joke is on us!

We thought about running a pool where people could place bets with favortie candy bars, but decided it might be more trouble than it is worth. So we are doing a poll instead (see right column). Before you vote, you should know the statistics for Nate's and my families. Nate has two sisters, four brothers and one nephew. I have one sister, four brothers, seven nephews, and one niece. Boy to girl ratio? About 4:1.

The big day is November 10, so get your votes in before then. Unfortunately, poll results may not accurately reflect real life facts. Such is nature, I'm afraid.

Ode to Roots

2009-09-23T10:52:00.002-06:00

Oh dearest, faithful friend!
Why didst thou rot away?
Why didst thou cause me pain so exceeding
As to produce headaches worthy of death and despair?
And thy tooth so pained
That I couldst not even chew Pasta Roni?
They say that no man (woman)
Should survive on ice cream alone.
Yet I was forced to enjoy it
Because of thine actions.

Wherefore hast thou gone?
When the endodontist sought thee
Thou wast dead.
An "abscess" he called thee,
In the midst of the search.
Nay, he could not find thee alive.

Thou hast forced me to remove thee forever.
Even tho' the pain now be gone
From where thou used to reside,
I am saddened.For thou shalt never return.

Maine Photos

2009-09-10T21:34:00.013-06:00

Ah, finally. Photos. My family has a little cabin on an island off the coast of Maine. It is a one room little hut, nothing like these "cabins" western families have for their summer retreats that have vaulted ceilings, 7+ bedrooms and innumerable baths. No, nothing like that type of cabin at all. This cabin is the real deal. no electricity, no running water, no plumbing. Outhouses-R-Us is the theme at this little getaway. So what do you do on an island that has no electricity, running water, or plumbing? This...

Hunting for muscles.

Smashing muscles open on the dock with a rock

Baiting squishy muscle guts on a hook.

Catching unsuspecting crabs off the docks and having "crab wars."

Swimming off the dock. Or attempting to swim, since the water was SO COLD.

Getting sandy feet.
Getting wet feet.
Barbequeing on the rocks by the cabin.
Boating, of course.
And, of course, eating homemade ice cream at the general store in Damariscottia.

Dying Kitty

2009-08-24T09:26:00.002-06:00

I woke up early this morning to go for a run and heard the unmistakable sound of a cat dying. We have two, you see, and one of them is deaf (Nietzsche). But Nietzsche's meowing was not her usual "I'm lonely and can't hear anyone around me" meowing. Her meowing was that of a cat's last attempt to find a savior before meeting an unpleasant end. I ran outside and turned the back light on and off in the customary signal to her that she should come to the door and I will feed her. We can use the customary call of "here kitty-kitty" for our other cat, Dante, but we've had to make some adjustments for Nietzsche. Unfortunately, the deaf cat did not come and continued hollering to such extent that I was sure all the neighbors on the block would be awakened. So I went outside and looked around, but didn't see anything. Oddly enough, the sound was coming from the direction of the house and not away from it. I thought perhaps she was stuck in the garage, but the sound's angle was off. Finally, I looked up.

Peaking her head over the roof was Nietzsche. Not only was she stuck on the roof, but she had been rained on as well. I climbed the deck help my arms up and she came to me post-haste. Poor, soaked kitty. She ran inside to her one area of complete security - the foot of the bed by my sleeping husband's feet. Poor, wet, deaf and dumb kitty.

This Blog Has Not Been Forgotten

2009-08-13T13:53:00.000-06:00

Just so you know, we have not forgotten that this blog exists. We have merely been extremely busy with work and family. So stay tuned and updates will be here soon (and photos)!

News Flash: 26-year-old woman declares "Bring a Treat to Work If You Want to Day"

2009-07-22T11:32:00.007-06:00

(photo compliments of google search and www.chrismadden.co.uk/food/fat-man-food.gif)

PROVO - Offices were flooded with chocolate, ice cream, pastries, and sweets, as one woman declared Thursday, July 23, an official holiday. The woman's name has not been revealed.

All sources state that employees were so excited to participate in this holiday that the building was overloaded in sugar. Employees got so fat on the delicious foods that only one at a time could ride down the elevator to exit the building. Those who couldn't make it down the elevator were lifted by a crane from the second and third floor windows. Stairs were not an option.

One employee commented, "I don't know how it happened, but it did. One moment we were independently bringing a small snack to share at work and the next moment we had gorged ourselves. The food was so good that we didn't stop eating until 5 p.m. rolled around and we had to go home. We didn't even want to go home because we were afraid we'd miss eating the food."

The State Department of Health believes that the sugar-highs expected to occur will cause both an increase in activity and a dramatic weight decrease. The Department is researching ways to expand this holiday to include more people, believing there will be an overall increase in physical activity and decrease in weight among the American population. All are hopeful that the United States of America will become healthier by eating more sugar and fat in large quantities.

Mother Russia!

2009-07-05T10:30:00.018-06:00

It's past time to post photos for this awesome trip. For those of you who don't know, Nate and I got back from Moscow, Russia last week, where we visited Nate's amazing parents and siblings. And since his grandparents were visiting at the same time, we basically had a big American-tourist-meets-Russia party the whole week. We hope you enjoy the photos, but we cannot make any guarantees for spelling.

Our first day was spent recuperating from jet lag and ended abruptly at about 8 p.m.

Our second day was a little more exciting. We went to see the "pickled man" (you can figure that out on your own, or email me with questions) and met our first Russian spy while waiting in line. Of course, the minute we suggested in hushed tones that he was a spy, he came over to us and tried to sell us a tourist book. We said "no" only once and he didn't try selling it again. He also wasn't selling anything else to anyone else and was talking on a cell phone immediately after meeting us. He really should take salesmanship classes from the Ecuadorians, because he was obviously lacking in skill. Or was he....?

Here is the family at St. Basil's Cathedral at Red Square. A most beautiful building. Too bad Ivan the Terrible burned the architect's eyes out so that he couldn't make anything more beautiful. A waste of talent, if you ask me. But he certainly left his mark with this building.

Nate and me at Red Square. Behind us is (I believe) the State Historical Museum. We went inside the museum later in the week. They had some beautiful things inside, including dead bones. One thing that doesn't appear to have changed in the last 1000 years is how stirrups and bits were made. Some things are just perfect already.

We tried to visit the Armory, located at the Kremlin, but got there on the wrong day. I think that sign says "closed." Andria and Caleb put on their sad faces, though I don't think Caleb's face has the capability of frowning. A better-natured guy I have never met.

We also went to a great Russian marketplace called Izmaylova. We were treated to some authentic Russian food strait from the grill. It was either lamb or pork, so I tried lamb with much hesitation and it was...AMAZING! I've never had such delicious meat. Greasy, spicy, grilled, heaven. The bread was unique because it was so tough. But it was also very flavorful and delicious.

Catherine and Nate outside the marketplace.

The food!

More food!

Nate and the amusing hat-man. We hope Nate didn't get lice from all of the hats this man forced on his head. We ended up buying one, because he was such a good salesman. The Russian spy at Lenin's tomb could have learned a thing or two from him, too.

Naturally, we experienced Moscow's infamous metro. Next time I go, I will bring earplugs. This is my favorite photo. There is a very large, very grey memorial commemorating the Russian's space exploration and scientific/astrological discoveries. This is at the side of the memorial. It continues in a large sloping column up into the sky in the form of a rocket taking off.

Behind us is a beautiful statue of chariot horses. The fountain flows into a long, shallow pool that runs the length of a park, almost like a river. There are other, smaller statues of animals that follow the length of the pool. It was a hot day, and people were sneaking into the pool and wading around.

On our last day, we took a hike in Russia's famous forest. For whatever reason, I was expecting more evergreens and was surprised to see that the forest was mostly deciduous. Also surprising about Russia was the warm, friendly summer climate. I could live in such a place during the summer! Let's not forget to mention that the sun stays out until midnight!

Unfortunately, I think I'm out of space. It was a great trip. Not at all what I imagined Russia to be. And as usual, our trip included a very bizarre experience, as they all must. We had a late departing plane, made up for time across the Atlantic, got delayed by another plane that hadn't left our dock when we arrived, waited some more while a baggage cart got overturned in front of our plane before we docked, missed our connection because of the delays, had another delay when our next connection was supposed to depart, and then had more of a delay when the copilot got violently ill and a backup pilot was called in from across town. The good part is that our baggage came with us and we got to watch all the movies we wanted while on board. Such is life. Isn't it great?

Not a Rocket Scientist

2009-07-01T08:44:00.004-06:00

We drive a 14-year-old Toyota, complete with a tape deck, cracked window, and non-electrical key. This car gets about 40 mpg on the freeway and is comparable to the energizer bunny - it just keeps going. And with only 60,000 miles on it, it really WILL keep going. Unfortunately, driving this car has made us ill-prepared for some of the more modern technologies that today's cars offer. That is why I had a really embarrassing experience.

I was asked to request a university rental car for my boss the other day. She specifically asked that I request a Toyota Prius - one of the new hybrid cars. When my boss returned from her trip, she let me drive the Prius back to the rental location while she followed me in her own car so that I would have a ride back to the office. Arriving at the rental location, I turned the car off and took out the…key? Is that what that thing was? Unfortunately, we arrived one minute too late and the student employee that had just locked up asked me to move the car to the parking lot across the street. My boss drove over to the lot to pick me up while I restarted the car. I put in the key. I pressed the power button. I put the key again. I semi-pressed the power button. I took out the key. I pressed the button twice. I put on the brake. I took off the brake. Nothing. After about 10 minutes, I saw my boss' car alongside the Prius and my boss staring inquisitively at me. She gave me some tips and we tried again – to no avail. It wasn't until the point of absolute humiliation that the Prius decided to rev. In the end, I don't know what we did to get it to work, but we had a good laugh and a definite confirmation that I am not, nor have I ever been, a rocket scientist. To all of my brothers, I hope you delight in this acknowledgment.

The Haunting of the Retaining Wall (as promised)

2009-06-16T15:35:00.004-06:00

Have you ever been haunted by something that is not necessarily scary by the world’s standards, yet still terrorizes you? I grew up in a haunted house that is well over 200 years old and carries the usual issues of haunted houses. It is complete with 13-stepped staircases, bible-and-cross door frames built at angles to scare away spirits, creaky floors, and night shadows. As a person who has been raised in such a house, I have acquired the usual problems – fear of the dark, nightmares, afraid of being alone at night, etc. But even though my house has left me with these issues, it has NEVER succeeded to haunt me as badly as the retaining wall in our back yard. Because the nightmares are gone when the sun comes up. But the haunting of the retaining wall has no concept of day and night.

It started two summers ago. The occupants of our home at that time asked our singles ward to do a little “service project” that involved taking down the old railroad ties and digging up the ground to make space for the wall. (I never imagined that by serving a friend I was helping to create the very source of horror in my current and otherwise peaceful life.) Eventually, we put in the artistic stone foundation for the wall, leaving the steps and wall caps for another day. One year later, Nate and I moved in and organized a Cranny sibling retaining wall party. Because the work was long and hard, we finished putting in the steps and saved the caps for another day. Several weeks later, we were doing some gardening work and found that the right end of the wall did not meet the gate and the dirt was not filled in. We fixed the end and left the caps for another day. (It is important to note that in order to do the caps, we needed a stone cutter. This was the cause of most of our delay.) So we put a date with our kind, stone cutter-owning neighbor; which fell through. And then came the Utah winter, coating our pretty little unglued wall caps with rain, sleet, and snow. So we saved the caps for another, sunnier day.

Meanwhile, because of the steps being put in after the wall, the wall and the steps did not meet. The issue with the wall and steps not meeting caused much anxiety in my life (I have a partial Type-A personality by nature), until I finally got sick enough to take an afternoon off from work and stare at the wall. After some calculations, measurements, and several small naps, I finally figured out how to make the structure look decent. We then re-invited our kind, stone cutter-owning neighbor over and succeeded in wearing out all of his saw blades before we could get to the caps. Caps for another day.

Since we still had a missing step stone, the next week we took a trip to Lehi Block & Co. where we bought the stone and some more caps and had cuts made according to our calculations. Arriving home, we began to finish the wall, only to realize that the side stone was cut wrong and more cuts needed to be done in order to fit the caps around a corner. Because Lehi Block was closed at this time, we had no choice but to save the side stone and the remaining caps for another day. And then it started raining. And raining. And it has hardly stopped raining in these last two weeks. So after two years of working on this project, we now have most of the steps and 1/3 of the caps on the retaining wall done. The rest of the caps are being saved for another day.

But I look forward to posting a photo of the finished project when that “another” day finally comes.

Sweet Chocolatey Goodness

2009-06-10T09:49:00.006-06:00

Do to a chronic headache condition imposed upon me by a partial "Type A" personality combined with the unsymmetrical union of the new retaining wall in our backyard with the backyard steps, I have spent many a moment staring out the back window at the wall and trying to calculate how many/which cuts necessary to make the steps and wall meet in harmony. It is because of this little problem that one of the sweetest treats in the world has been introduced into my life.

Once the calculations were done, Nate and I asked our kind, stonecutter-owning neighbor to help us cut some of the stone. (I will save for another day the story of how his blades wore out and we still didn’t get the wall done.) To thank him for his help, we made him some cookies. And they turned out to be the BEST COOKIES OF ALL TIME.

I have made several batches in my life, and while I don’t profess to be an exemplary cook, I can say with some pride that I am a decent cookie-maker. But never before have I stumbled across a recipe to inspire taste buds and set the heart a-putter with such heavenly savor. I must share this recipe with you, as it will bring bliss into your life:

White Chocolate Chip Cookies
INGREDIENTS

1 cup butter, softened (I used ½ butter and ½ shortening.)
2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 2/3 cups white chocolate chips (Just use the whole bag.)

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in the vanilla. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt; stir into the creamed mixture. Fold in the white chocolate chips. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, until cookies are set. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely. (Note – I only baked them for 8 minutes and they were perfect. You really do need to leave them on the baking sheet for five minutes, though.)

Since credit must be given where credit is due, please know that I got this from www.allrecipes.com via googling “chocolate white chocolate chip cookie.”

Coming next …the Haunting of the Retaining Wall

Kirby's First Ribbon

2009-05-27T12:48:00.008-06:00

Let me brag. I know that few of you care one whit about this, but allow me to brag anyway. As many of you know, I train horses. As you also know, I have been working with a little 1/2 Arab pony since last December that belongs to my neighbor. Kirby is small, fast, and can get very nervous, very quickly. What do you do with a nervous horse in a jumping show? You let it jump. Meet Kirby Rose:

I've been working Kirby in her owner's backyard (about the size of 1/2 of a dressage arena), jumping her over food storage buckets with rails, blue barrels, and hay bales. (Mom, I just want you to know that I never jump Kirby without first giving her some dressage training.) So what happens when she sees the inside of a real arena with stadium jumps? She goes a little psycho. I jumped her in three classes at this show. The first was a 2'3" "equitation over fences" class where the rider and horse are judged on how well they work together over the fences, faults, striding, etc. The only reason I entered Kirby in this class was to get her over the fences so that we could be competitive in the higher, timed jumper classes without worrying about her refusing the fences. Needless to say, she wiggled, she raced, and she looked around like a crazy bird. But she didn't refuse and we ended up with Kirby's first ribbon for sixth place. Obviously, her owners were pretty proud that she placed. As luck would have it, the 2'3" was too slow and too low for the little-pony-that-could, so we surprised her owners again by taking third place in the 2'9" jumper class, losing to the second place winner by only 0.10 seconds on a hand-timer.

This pony jumps so big that I've decided to put her up another few inches in her next show. I remember the first oxer we flew over. No, really, we FLEW over it. She jumped so high that I remember having time to think to myself, "hey, I'm still in the air."

So that's Kirby. Bragging terminated.

People are like Bottles of Mustard

2009-05-26T12:58:00.004-06:00

We had a Memorial Day barbeque yesterday with friends and family. During the barbeque, I found myself in a situation where someone asked me a question and I replied in my usual dry-humor way. However, after responding, I realized that the person I was talking to probably didn't recognize my humor and likely thought my response was serious (which it wasn't). I also realized that if anyone was eavesdropping (which they always are), they would also think I was being serious. Oh idiot that I am. I hereby publicly apologize to anyone who has ever thought me serious when I wasn't and has been offended for it. Please know that it is a family trait. Families are grown in different ways, places, and cultures, which cultivate the personalities and social norms of each person in that family. My family has cultivated an uncanny ability to express dry humor (sometimes referred to as sarcasm) so that nobody else "gets it." It began with our dad's classic jokes - "Dad, I'm hungry" "Nice to meet you hungry, I'm Dad" - and has mutated from there. If you don't get us, please think of us as bottles of mustard. Allow me to explain...

Consider a mustard bottle - what a bright bottle! Yellow, happy, and filled with sunshine and memories of group gatherings and barbequed hotdogs and hamburgers. And what a taste! It tweaks the flavor of food with something…unforgettable, making it more favorable. It adds spice to life! However, there is one problem with mustard. If you don't spend enough time with it, the yummy, distinct mustard sometimes forms a little crusty covering at the top of the bottle. Often people are deterred from the mustard when they see the crusties. They don't realize that once you get through the first hardened goop, the rest of the mustard comes out uninhibited! True love at first taste.

Of course, one may argue that he or she dislikes the taste of mustard. How does this then relate? My question to such a person is thus: Do you like ketchup? Because it has the same problem. The point is, people are all unique. Some are harder to understand than others, and some are just plain dorky (like my siblings and me - no offense to the sibs). And so, we should do two things:
1) Spend enough time together to understand each other. It's not until you get by the crusties that you get to taste the pleasurable mustard. For those of you who have lived abroad, think of it as learning a foreign language. You can't really communicate until you learn to speak the same language. So learn the language!
2) Keep an open mind and don't judge people for being different. I.e. don't judge the mustard for having a few crusties at the top. Just don't! It's like when you are a kid and say you won't eat something because of the way it looks, only to find out that it actually tastes delicious.

Perhaps by doing this we can get by the crusties and enjoy that exquisite, tangy spice of life that we all enjoy. Myself included.

Note to audience: My husband doesn't actually like mustard, but he DOES like ketchup. And he LOVES me!

Rules of a Subservient Housewife

2009-05-11T14:56:00.004-06:00

In the words of my sister, the kids in my family are "swimmers" as opposed to "sinkers." In reality, all this means is that we are independent, strong-willed, hard-headed, reasonably intelligent, and completely stubborn. And let’s not forget bossy. Unfortunately, all of these survivor characteristics can become negative when the survivor is the woman in a dreamy, romantic, knight-in-shining-armor-saves-damsel-in-distress marriage relationship. This is because the damsel is NEVER in distress. And thus the knight never gets to charge in on his white horse.

What to do? Nate and I finally discussed my "swimming" abilities and decided that it would be best for both of us if I was a subservient housewife. Definition: a barefoot, pregnant (sorry parents, but no, I’m not), in-the-kitchen wife who is compliant and obedient to her husband’s authority. As such, I have created some rules of order. I include them below only because Nate said I could.

Rules of a Subservient Housewife:
(Note - this is a casual entry and is not subject to following grammatical rules defined by Ye Old English, the Bible, or any other documented/undocumented form of writing or speech.)

· Thou shalt not yell at thy husband when he walks into the house with muddy shoes after you have cleaned the floor, nor shalt thou mop the floor with the hair of his head.
· Thou shalt not mention to thy husband that he has left the toilet seat up in the guest bathroom - again, but thou shalt clean the toilets and like it.
· Thou shalt not boss thy husband around without fluttering thine eyelashes and using subjective words and phraseology such as "would you be willing to…" and "could you kindly…"
· Thou shalt not allow dandelions into thy yard.
· Thou shalt make thy husband dinner every night. But, thou shalt not burn thy husband's dinner when thou art angry at him, nor shall thee give him yucky boiled vegetables to eat as secret punishment.
· Thou shalt act the damsel in distress and never let thy husband know that thou couldst smack down even Chuck Norris if thou really hadst desired to.
· Thou shalt be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen at all times. If thou art not pregnant, thou shalt still be barefoot and in the kitchen at all times. If thou art not in the kitchen, thou shalt be in another area within the confines of the house or household property. And thou shalt still be barefoot. If thou art not barefoot, thou takest thine own life in thy hands at thy peril.
· Thou shalt always flutter thine eyelashes at thy husband regardless of whether or not he hast taken out the trash, done the dishes, planted the garden, or mowed the lawn.
· Thou shalt refrain from nagging.
· Above all, thou shalt not eat the last bite of thy husband's yummy, rich, chocolaty, fudge swirled, caramel candy filled, delectable, divine, frozen ice cream dessert. But if thou art under dire temptation, thou mayest circumvent the law by eating the entire carton except for a measly 1/4 teaspoon quantity for thy husband and not fear repercussions for breaking the law.

March of the Ants

2009-04-28T09:45:00.003-06:00

They come from every location, every distance, every existence. They march day and night, shuffling their feet to the silent music of the wind. Without fear and without complaint, they cross terrains that would make lesser organisms doubt their very purpose and give up to the temptation of an easier way of life. But as for these organisms, they do not give up and neither do they fear. Their purpose is sure and their determination is unwavering. Their march will be successful; it is the march of the ants.

From the corner of the garden they come. And from the underground caves and taverns of the lawn. They move down the trunk of the tree in the front yard and down the cement blocks known to humans as "steps." Across the flower plots they take their march, harvesting as they go. They carry with them small leaves, pieces of bark, and seeds. Especially flower seeds. With brute strength impossible for their tiny bodies, they take with them the seeds of wildflowers, petunias, and bluebells. They ignore the fact that the humans have taken so long to plant the seeds and cultivate the plots. To pause in their work would allow for time to feel guilty. And if the ants allow guilt, they will starve during the winter. They must keep marching, keep harvesting in order to survive. There is no organism more determined to survive.

As their march persists, they notice in one particular yard that changes are occurring to the terrain. The population of dandelions has decreased dramatically, there is no more grass growing between the cracks of the "steps," and unidentified broadleaf plants have been cleared from the plots. But they cannot pause in their march to fully contemplate these changes. They must continue, must harvest, must march. They must survive.

The determination has been noticed by the humans. While struggling to survive, the unbending focus of the ants turns into their downfall. They did not take time to speculate on the changes and they did not predict that the humans would protect their terrain. Especially these humans and this terrain. They did not see the hose, or the turning of the spicket. They did not see the rushing water. They did not see the large, green monster with "Scotts" painted on its side. They did not see the pellets of fertilizer and insecticide mix as it sprayed from the green monster-machine and fell upon their march. They did not predict that their determination could be extinguished. They should have.

The sun sets, the spicket is turned off, and the green monster-machine is returned to the garage. The march of the ants has stopped. The humans have won back their territory. Moral of the story? They who take the time to spray their lawn TWICE for dandelions will not be troubled by pathetic populations of marching ants.

The Truth about Dandelions

2009-04-10T09:37:00.004-06:00

(Cartoon compliments of: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3225/2536296993_37d3f4d65d.jpg)

I remember my sixth-grade English class, back at Granby Memorial Middle School. The teacher had each student write a poem about something they loved. (Naturally, I wrote mine about horses.) Vividly, I recall each student reading his or her poem out loud to the entire class. What was probably my first moment of jealousy occurred when one of my fellow classmates read a poem about dandelions. Not only was the girl petite and beautiful, and the crush of every boy in our grade - even Zach Pratt, the boy I was madly in love with - but her poem was so exquisite and…profound...that I felt overwhelmed with jealousy. I felt that my own poem was nothing more than another piece of paper for the trash. Excuse me. I meant "recycling bin." The girl's poem spoke of her fondness for dandelions and how, even though they were considered weeds, to her they were beautiful yellow flowers that brought life and decoration to an otherwise boring, green lawn.

Oh yes, I remember her poem and her love for dandelions well. Not too long ago, I remember reading another written work about the love of dandelions. This time, however, there was a whole article dedicated to it. The article spoke about dandelions as precious flowers that are often considered weeds, and was compared to people and how some people are often mistaken for bad or "weeds" by others. Just like dandelions are uprooted from the grass, people too are sometimes cast out of situations in life because they are misunderstood.

While I respect the right of writers to put their thoughts on paper and publicize them for the world to see, I also respect the right of regular, everyday, hard-working citizens trying to keep up a lawn to refute what is sometimes utter nonsense. And in this case, utter nonsense refers to dandelions being beautiful, misunderstood flowers.

First of all, dandelions are NOT people. They are green and they stay in the same spot all day long. They don't eat meat; they're not even vegetarians. For goodness' sake, they photosynthesize.

Second, dandelions are NOT pretty flowers. They are a virus and they attack in two deadly ways: 1) spreading their seeds with the wind to any available, fertile soil, and 2) expanding their roots throughout the lawn until they take control. And as we all know, once a virus has found a place in a host organism it can never be destroyed. It stays in that organism.

Have any of these dandelion-lovers ever had to take care of a lawn? I'd wager not. Last Monday I spent hours going over our lawn and trying to pull up as many of these "things" as I could. After thinking I had pulled them all from a particular section, I would take a break and then return to find - gasp - more dandelions in the very same section. Finally, I used an herbicide that was guaranteed to kill them. Three days later, I went outside to check on the death-toll, only to find that the vicious "things" were as happy and healthy as ever. I sprayed again, drenching them with all the death I could muster.

Do I feel guilty about wanting to destroy dandelions that have invaded my soil? No. Granted, I would not destroy a dandelion in anyone else’s lawn, nor would I pluck a dandelion from wild soil. However, what living (animal) organism voluntarily allows another organism into its territory without an invitation? None. It is an unspoken law of nature that when one’s home/territory is invaded, the owner of that home has the right to destroy the invader. If a dandelion decides to invade MY soil, I will destroy it. Dandelions, be warned.

2009 Aventures Begin

2009-04-02T17:58:00.008-06:00

We decided it was time for a vacation, so we took the weekend off and went to St. George for the last couple of decent days, weather-wise, before the typical end-of-March snow storms. We did two hikes (when did this become a noun???) in Zion National park. The first was Angel’s Landing, and the second was in Kolob Canyon.

Angels Landing was very windy. And treacherous. And high up! And did I mention that I hate heights? Actually, it’s only precipices that give me the woolly-whoolies. Give me a tree any day and I’m fine. Plane? Sure. Stand on the edge of a cliff? Absolutely not. Except to prove to myself that I can, of course…

Unfortunately, the weather caught up on the second and final day of our vacation. The moment we stepped out of the vehicle, we began to see little flakes of snow, followed by larger flakes, followed by little balls of snow, followed by large sized hail. And of course it hailed for the duration of 2.5 miles, at which point we had reached the end of the trail and had to turn back. Needless to say,

we weren’t prepared for hail in southern Utah and had to make do with the clothing we had. Please don’t mention anything about the socks with sandals - I was freezing!

The truth about THE ONE

2009-03-16T16:49:00.005-06:00

We are leaning toward socialism because we are trying to conserve the rights of every individual. How is this possible? It is, unfortunately, too simple a process. So simple, in fact, that many people overlook it.

First of all, our country was established to ensure that the people have a more perfect union, justice, domestic tranquility, a common defense, general welfare, and liberty to the living and future generations of those who live here. If you doubt me, read the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution. Note that they don’t say anything about being “equal.” Unfortunately, many American citizens today overly enjoy the life that their forefathers fought to provide, to the extent that they have forgotten these true reasons. Instead of working for the good of the many, or general welfare, we have decided in the last two generations that we should work for the good of THE ONE.

We have started to think that as America citizens, we have the right to have everything anyone else has. We have forgotten to study our founding documents – except for the necessary memorization to pass that required examination in high school – and have misinterpreted what we thought we learned. Instead of general welfare, justice, tranquility, etc., we decided to just simplify the whole thing to the term “equal rights.” Whoops! Big mistake. First, because it is misinterpretation, and second because, like the worst forms of gossip, one misinterpretation leads to another until all have it wrong. We eventually slid from the first misinterpretation of our foundations to an even worst interpretation that can be described as “same rights.” Now, we believe that everyone should have the right to the same hair color, same car, same house, same TV screen. After all, it’s the American dream, right? Don’t even get me started on rights that some of us believe we should have despite the fact they are based on personal choices, as if personal choices should be included in this as well. Instead of worrying about the general welfare of all, we now worry about the general welfare of THE ONE.

Because of THE ONE, we have arrived at the point that we, the people as individuals, have the right to have the same items that our rich neighbors have. Erroneously, we thus believe we have the right to be able to buy those things on credit, i.e. fluffy non-existent money, as tangible as leprechauns’ gold (hey – it’s St. Patrick’s Day).

Because of the credit bubble, CEOs who are overly concerned about THE ONE, and companies that refuse to let general economic rules ensure their survival, we have arrived to the point that bailouts are demanded from the federal government. The government is confronted by companies that 1)didn’t play by the rules, and 2)don’t meet the expectations of their customers' demand, and decides that it is important to save the jobs of those who work for these companies. After all, its not the workers’ fault that their CEOs wanted a penthouse, $2MM, and a yacht. While trying to be sensitive to these individuals, our government makes the ultimate mistake that turns us into a social nation filled with individuals. In trying to save jobs, the government sides with the big, bad companies in ignoring the general rule of economics – the rule of supply and demand. This basically states that if a company doesn’t supply what is being demanded, it should fall. Poof. Be gone.

In the wake of a failed company comes new ideas and new technology, providing jobs for not only those who were fired, but for other, new workers as well. Yes, college graduates, you could have a job, too! However, if these companies are bailed out of their debts to save jobs, they are not forced to re-think their supplies, continue in the same rut, and contribute to the failing economy. And with this comes further economic turmoil as the governmental loans allow strings to be attached from the big Feds to the businesses, and the businesses come to realize that something (what could it be???) is wrong in their business because they just received a load of money and yet people still aren’t buying their products. And so they cut jobs anyway. And in the end, what we are left with is a bunch of people crying “I want my rights” while jobs are wasted and companies are indebted to a government which now must bail not only companies, but all other aspects of the state that can no longer function because there is not enough money to go around. Because there aren’t enough jobs. Because the government bailed the companies in the first place. Because the leaders of those companies were more concerned about getting an "A" on the high school government exam instead of really learning the material.

I Am Plumber.

2008-12-22T08:43:00.003-07:00

There are few times in the course of life that a woman has the opportunity to do what most women only dream of. Yes, I am talking about fixing leaky toilets.

The toilet in the second floor private bath leaked before we even moved into the house. The previous occupants had tried to fix it, to no avail, and had pronounced that a plumber must be hired. Until that time, the water to the toilet would be turned off. Of course, we didn’t realize how bad the leak really was until we turned the water on and found it soaking into the basement bathroom below through the overhead light! Remember Benjamin Franklin? After this little incident, we decided the previous occupants were right and turned the water off again.

As with most working/starving student couples, we put this little problem off for as long as possible. However, with the arrival of the Christmas season come visitors, and our house was expecting a visitor for an extended stay. I.e. procrastination terminated. We started to look up plumbers and their phone numbers and prices when I had an epiphany. Did people in the 1800’s hire plumbers? (Of course not. They had outhouses.) Well, if they had to fix outhouses on their own, what was to stop me from fixing the toilet myself when I had such resources as…the World Wide Web? An hour of staring and experimenting and an $8 trip to Home Depot later, problem solved.

I am plumber. Hear me roar.

The Truth About Turkey

2008-12-04T08:39:00.004-07:00

According to the National Cancer Institute (http://www.cancer.gov/), one of the suggested remedies of sleep disorders is to eat turkey. This is because turkey contains an amino acid known as tryptophan, a building block of protein that has shown to increase sleepiness. I have been a firm believer of this turkey-sleeping-agent since I was a young teenager, and have never been disappointed over the course of my many years of eating turkey.

Until this year.

My brilliant older brother innocently ruined my post-Thanksgiving napping experience by mentioning beforehand that the amount of turkey consumed over the course of a monstrous meal was not necessarily sufficient in quantity to actually cause the sleeping effect that I had always assumed. The expression “it’s all in the head” came to mind after this, and I was disturbed to find that either he was right, or my brain truly is stronger than my physical impulsions. I.e. mind over matter. This is because i did not feel the urge to take a nap after eating our monstrous meal last Thursday. Even worse, we hiked a mountain the next day (5.5 miles in the snow and bitter cold, beginning at 7,000ft. elevation and going up to probably 9,000ft, give or take – see the photo above) and were shocked to discover that after being overcome with cold and exhaustion, we could eat a turkey sandwich and become rejuvenated. This was disturbing.

Whether it is true that turkey does not have sufficient tryptophan to cause sleepiness, or else my doubts controlled my natural physical urges to sleep after eating turkey, I have decided to lay an excuse for after-Thanksgiving naps elsewhere. Turkey or no turkey, the true cause for sleepiness is now the potato. Yes, the potato. The heavy carbohydrates found in this food also increase drowsiness. (See http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Potato and search for “sleep.”) Never again will I fall subject to the doubts of amino acids and turkey. Mashed, diceed, covered in butter or gravy, the potato never fails to make one sleepy. May we each spend every Thanksgiving eating potatoes, and every Thanksgiving weekend eating leftover potatoes, so that we may all rest in peace for the holidays.

Voodoo Baby Teller

2008-11-24T22:24:00.003-07:00

Last night we had a Cranney family dinner at their grandparents' home in Bountiful. It's a monthly occurrence, so I was not expecting a voodoo baby teller to be present. A little pin stuck to a pencil hanging from a string over your palm seems so innocent. Child play. A silly game that little girls and teenagers play like MASH or twisting the top off of a soda bottle. I thought it was all a hoax, until the game showed truth for two women who had already had their children. I was next.

Word to the wise - when someone asks you to play one of these so called games, just don't. Don't do it. Say no to curses. As for me, I was not so wise. After a girl, a boy, and then two more girls came the twins. I didn't wait around to see what came after that.

Murphy, his laws, and Entropy.

2008-11-24T10:06:00.007-07:00

Most people would look at Nate's and my life as typical, cotidiano, mainstream. I imagine they would see two tall people, in love, working and going to school, going home to do homework, and following this routine everyday. Nothing extreme, nothing unusual. Just...regular.

Yeah, right.

Ever heard of Murphy's Law? Ever heard of Entropy? Ever thought that they could be instrinsically connected to affect a couple's life on this good, green earth? Welcome to our real life. Here is an example of what really happens "cotidiano" in our normal little life.

Friday. Calm, normal. I had planned with my neighbor to go horseback riding. I didn't want to have to carry my keys for fear of losing them, so I decided to just go out the back door (people door) of the garage. Of course, once I was in the garage I noticed something I needed in the car, and then I thought "oh, I'll just carry the saddle out the garage door (the car door) and press the garage door opener in the car so that I don't have to lug the saddle all the way around the back of the house." So I did. Two yards later I realized I was stuck outside the house without a phone, keys, or car, and that I was supposed to pick up Nathan in one hour. Not to mention I was wearing really funny looking riding pants and tall black riding boots and carrying a 30 lbs. saddle. So I decided I would deal with it later. After riding, I returned to our home at the top of the hill tired, dirty, and still lugging the saddle. And remembering that I needed to pick up Nate and had no way of doing it. What does anyone do in this situation? They find the nearest neighbor that they think will help them without being weirded out by dirt and strange clothing. So I did and ended up driving a neighbors minivan to campus to pick up Nate. Of course, I didn't want the van to smell like horses, so I rolled the window down for fresh air, only to find that once it was more than half way down, it didn't roll back up! And it was cold out. And I was parking in a public place. Don't worry, everything turned out all right and I got the van, Nate, and the keys back in one piece, all the while trying to get the window up 1/2 inch at a time for the duration of the ride.

Such is how our life really is. Don't get me started on the broken leg or split toenail (yes, they are separate occurrences).